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Here Comes Porcer Claus

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NOTE: The opinions and commentary expressed in this essay are those of the author and are an exercise of free speech. They do not necessarily represent the views of Free State Project Inc., its Directors, its Officers, or its Participants.

Here Comes Porcer Claus

by Philip Denisch

(With apologies to Here Comes Santa Claus by Gene Autry)

Here comes Porcer Claus! Here comes Porcer Claus!
Right down Porcer Claus line!
Texan and Hexan and all Dorsatii
      are pulling on the spines.
Nets are pinging, Tea is flinging;
All is aerie and might.
Yang your clockings and yin your mockings,
'Cause Porcer Claus comes tonight.

Here comes Porcer Claus! Here comes Porcer Claus!
Right down Porcer Claus line!
He's got a state that is filled with the free
      for the boys and girls so fine.
Hear that liberty bell ring out loud,
Oh, What a beautiful fight.
So, Dump the red, love that you fled,
'Cause Porcer Claus comes tonight.